Twenty years ago, I shared with a renowned astrologer about my deep longing to devote my life to spirituality within the confines of an ashram or monastery. He responded with a hearty laugh, staring directly into my eyes, and said, "You must embrace your destiny, my friend. Even if you sought solace in a cave, there'd be a celebration inside that cave. Your cosmic blueprint paints you as a public figure. How you navigate that role is your choice, but resisting the path the universe has chosen for you will only invite more suffering."

 At the age of 23, those words hit me hard. But over the years, I've come to understand that when you find yourself in the public eye or assume a leadership role, you must embrace the fact that people will always have something to say about you—both complimentary and critical.

As I stay true to the path the universe has set for me, I'd like to share some insights I've gained about gracefully receiving and learning from feedback. 

1. Embrace humility and compassion. Listen closely, not just to the words but to the person's feelings behind them. Seek to understand their point of view, whether it's a fact or an opinion. Remember that even poorly delivered feedback can hold valuable insights, especially if it comes from a trustworthy source.

2. Be curious. Resist the urge to get defensive. Ask genuine questions and remember this is an opportunity for you to possibly learn and grow. When you approach receiving feedback in this way you let folks feel more seen, heard and understood.

3. Take time to reflect. If the feedback isn't immediately actionable, let them know you are taking time to integrate new learnings. 

4. Honor impact OVER intent. Even if we never intended to cause harm or hurt, it's important to still own our impact. Use your discernment and touch into the wisest part of yourself when determining the right action to take after you receive critical feedback. 

5. Be gentle with yourself. It’s normal to feel all sorts of feelings when you receive critical feedback from guilt to shame to anger to hurt and everything in between. It’s okay. Hold your feelings with tenderness and remember, we all face criticism; it’s an opportunity to learn and grow.

I've had to strengthen my ability to take in feedback and continually exercise humility a lot over the last few years. This has been especially true in the uncharted and vulnerable work we're doing at TEL, where we're dedicated to cultivating a multiracial Beloved Community. While some deem the pursuit unattainable in our current world, I wholeheartedly embrace the inevitable opportunities for growth. My commitment lies in understanding that imperfection is my constant companion as I remain devoted to continuous learning.

Whether it's your personal or professional life, I invite you to explore how feedback is a gift, and it's up to us how we choose to unwrap it. Let's harness its transformative power and together, reach new heights as we embrace the journey of growth through feedback.

May the rest of September fill you with great humility and heart

PS 

I'm offering a huge discount on the SEL Every Day Courses. There are even greater discounts for multi-users and you have the option of earning 3-6 Graduate Credits.