In one of my most challenging periods—navigating the road to motherhood marked by a miscarriage—I discovered healing in an unexpected form: reveling in the joy of others. Though tinged with sorrow initially, each celebration of a friend’s pregnancy and birth became a moment to affirm a powerful mantra within myself: "That's for me too." This affirmation went beyond mere hope; it was a deep recognition that joy and possibility exist, even if not in the ways or timelines I had envisioned.

This profoundly challenging time taught me that joy isn't a finite resource but something we can share expansively. The phrase “That’s for me too” not only buoyed my spirits but also laid the groundwork for cultivating mudita, a key Buddhist virtue of finding joy in the happiness and good fortune of others. It's common to feel a twinge of jealousy or envy at another's success, which can lead us to question our own worth. This reaction, however, only feeds into a narrative of scarcity and fear.

Choosing to cultivate mudita is a deliberate decision to reject comparisons that foster suffering. By embracing this practice, the happiness of others has become more of a source of my own joy, effectively multiplying the opportunities I have to feel joyful.

How can you cultivate a mudita mindset/heartset?

While we often witness the visible triumphs of others, the hidden layers of their lives remain obscured. Acknowledging that we all navigate the peaks of joy and the valleys of sorrow binds us in our shared humanity. I vividly recall the heartbreak in my doctor's office, confronted by the devastating silence where a baby's heartbeat should have resonated—a moment that deeply connected my spirit with those who had experienced similar grief, expanding my capacity for compassion. Seeking solace, my husband and I turned to the ritual of mizuko kuyo, deeply rooted in his Japanese heritage at the Green Gulch Dharma Center. In the garden of the Sebastopol Zen Center, we placed a Jizo, to honor both our grief and our journey toward healing.

Miraculously, ten months later, the universe presented its exquisite timing: my son, Kailash, was born on the very day we received seed funding to launch Transformative Educational Leadership (TEL). This divine synchronicity marked the beginning of two incredible journeys—raising my son and nurturing our organization. 

This month, I encourage you to deepen your practice of rejoicing in the joy of others, enhancing not only their happiness but also enriching your own emotional landscape. When you rejoice in the happiness of millions, you open endless opportunities for your own joy.

With heartfelt gratitude for our shared journey. 

PS

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