Folks who know me well know that I’m pretty disciplined when it comes to following through on goals and healthy habits. Over the years, I’ve chilled out (a little) thanks to my husband. Instead of being Type A, I’m more like Type A-minus now. For instance, there was a period when I wouldn’t do anything until I’d completed 108 prostrations and meditation first thing in the morning. Now, while daily spiritual practice is still vital, I’ve relaxed a bit on the how of it, as long as it feels aligned. Seriously though, we all have aspirations, and I love this quote from Thich Nhat Hanh: “Each of us should have an aspiration, a dream, a deep desire, so that we come alive.” My aspirations make me feel ALIVE.

While achievement for its own sake leads to inevitable suffering, when our goals are noble and support bringing more wholesomeness and goodness into the world, we need to find ways to stay the course on this long and winding path of life.

In our daily lives, we often encounter challenges to our willpower that steer us away from our long-term goals. Whether it’s cultivating greater kindness and curiosity toward ourselves or others, eating more vegetables, or sticking to an exercise routine despite a busy schedule, the language we use in these moments can significantly impact our ability to stay on track.

A year ago, I came across some powerful research that unveiled a simple yet powerful linguistic tool to enhance self-control and stay committed to goals: the difference between saying "I don't" versus "I can't."

The Power of "I Don't"

For example, I’ve found that sugar really impacts my overall well-being, so I’m conscious of how much sugar I ingest that isn’t naturally found in vegetables and fruits. Instead of saying, “I can’t have refined sugar” every time I’m tempted, I say, “I don’t eat refined sugar.” While these statements might seem interchangeable, they have distinct psychological impacts.

The research found that framing your refusal as "I don't" is significantly more empowering than "I can't." When you say "I don't," you affirm your control and reinforce a sense of personal willpower. It's a declaration of your identity and choices, making it easier to resist temptations and stick to your goals.

I’ve also found it super helpful in guarding my mind and “selective watering.” Key mantras I employ now are: I DON’T DO OVERWHELM. I DON’T DO RESENTMENT. I DON’T DO GUILT. These are three key areas I don’t want to cultivate in my life, and I’ve found it super empowering to use the language of I DON’T.

Real-World Applications

The benefits of using "I don't" over "I can't" are not just theoretical. In a field study, participants who adopted the "I don't" strategy persisted longer in their health and wellness goals compared to those who used "I can't" or no specific strategy at all.

This simple change in language can be applied to various aspects of life. I invite you to try it out. For example,:

• Nutrition: Instead of saying "I can't eat sugary snacks," try saying "I don't eat sugary snacks."
• Exercise: Replace "I can't skip my workout" with "I don't skip my workout."
• Focus: Swap "I can't procrastinate" for "I don't procrastinate."

Here are instructions for incorporating "I DON'T" into your life:

The subtle shift from "I can't" to "I don't" can have profound effects on your ability to stay committed to your goals. By empowering yourself through language, you can enhance your discipline in various areas of your life. This month, I invite you to start practicing this simple yet powerful strategy and witness the positive changes it brings to your life.

Below, I’ve also included some of my key healthy habits, including a delicious smoothie recipe!

PS

 I'm excited to share that I'm now on Medium, where you can find a collection of my articles filled with practical tips and insights!