When the world feels heavy, I notice how quickly I want to move past what hurts. Lately, I have been trying something else.

This past Sunday at Deer Park Monastery, during the Dharma Talk, Thay Phap Luu spoke about interbeing. He reminded us that when one person dies, a part of us dies too. He invited us to bear witness to that truth not just conceptually, but viscerally, in our bodies and beings, because another’s death is not separate from our own.

I have been holding that teaching as I reflect on the killing of Renee Nicole Good. When power rushes to justify itself, what is often lost is the truth of a life. The everyday evidence of care, devotion, fatigue, and love that make up motherhood and humanity.

This is why Thay’s teaching of interbeing matters. To look deeply is to remember that no life is disposable, no death is isolated, and no suffering exists outside our shared human body.

Holding all of this has made me more aware of how much it matters to choose tenderness.

Before the holidays, my husband asked e what I wanted. I told him I wanted solitude

So I took 48 hours alone in Oceanside. It was cold and rainy and breathtaking. The ocean was wild, gray, and alive. I walked the beach every day. I meditated without my son crawling into my lap fifteen minutes in. I reread my journal from the past year, something I rarely give myself the time to do. I came across a passage where I was writing as the Divine Mother to myself, reminding me that my longing for solitude lives right alongside my love for my husband, son, and community. Both are true. Neither cancels the other. 

 On my drive to the ocean, a song I love came on and cracked me open. “Currency Called Time” by Jah Lil carries a simple truth. Time is the only currency that never returns. What I want is time. To walk slowly. To tend the garden. To really be here while I can. 

Time feels fast. My parents have aged so much. I am in my mid forties. My son is almost eight. How did this happen? Instead of hardening to this truth, something in me softened as I reached the beach. 

While I was in Oceanside, I spent quiet time with hundreds of pages of tenderness research. Out of that spaciousness, I have begun to surface what I am calling Tenderness Truths, the foundation of the next phase of this work.

What feels most alive to share right now is simple.

I know things feel really hard right now. There is a lot of unraveling and uncertainty. One practice that has helped me is what our ancestor Joanna Macy called active hope. Active hope is not about believing things will turn out well, but about choosing to participate in what feels meaningful, even when outcomes are unclear. 

For me, tenderness, Transformative Educational Leadership (TEL), and the Thich Nhat Hanh School of Interbeing are ways I am trying to stay in that practice.

It is in that spirit that I want to share a few invitations I am holding with care.

On February 6 at 9am PT and 12pm ET, I will be moderating a FREE global virtual event, Educating for Interbeing, with Jon Kabat-Zinn, Kaira Jewel Lingo, and Thay Phap Luu. This event marks the global launch of the Thich Nhat Hanh School of Interbeing, a new K-8 school rooted locally in Southern California and designed for the world. I am grateful to serve as a founding board member and parent, and I would love for you to join us.

The Thich Nhat Hanh School of Interbeing is also hiring. We are currently seeking a Head of School, Founding Teachers, and a Contemplative Curriculum Writer. If you or someone you know feels called to support a vision of education grounded in wisdom and compassion, I warmly encourage you to apply or share this opportunity.

In addition, I will be offering a FREE virtual professional learning on Healing Burnout with the International School Counselors Association on February 4, for those supporting young people in this tender moment.

Applications are also open for Transformative Educational Leadership (TEL) Cohort 5. TEL is a yearlong fellowship for educational leaders who sense that the work is not only about strategy or skill, but about who we are becoming as we lead. Fellows learn in beloved community, grounded in inner work, honest relationship, and a commitment to transforming systems with care and integrity.

May time not rush us past what matters.

With love,