As we step into 2025, I’ve been reflecting on a simple but transformative question shared by Thich Nhat Hanh: “Are you sure?” This question has been a gentle guide for me during moments when I felt certain about something, only to later discover I didn’t have the full story.

Lately, I’ve been humbled by situations that challenged my certainties—both about others and myself. These experiences revealed just how much of what we think we know is shaped by our perceptions, which are often incomplete. It’s a reminder that certainty can sometimes blind us, while curiosity and openness create space for connection and growth.

Thich Nhat Hanh often encouraged us to write down the question, “Are you sure of your perceptions?” and place it somewhere visible. This practice invites us to approach life with humility, recognizing that our view is just one part of the picture. This teaching beautifully aligns with a core Zen teaching: “Not knowing is most intimate.”

This Zen phrase points to the liberating truth that we don’t have to know everything to be fully present in our lives. In fact, clinging to certainty can limit our ability to see clearly, while embracing not knowing opens the door to deeper understanding and intimacy. The word "intimacy" here refers to a closeness with life as it is—a willingness to meet the moment without preconceived ideas or judgments.

Recently, my husband, Chihiro, and I watched Conclave, a gripping film starring Ralph Fiennes—one of my favorite actors. I'll watch almost anything he's in, and this movie was no exception. In it, his character, Cardinal Lawrence, says: "There is one sin which I have come to fear above all else...certainty." 

This line struck me deeply, as it resonates with my own spiritual tradition. When we let go of rigid knowing, we create space to approach each experience—whether joyful or painful, familiar or unexpected—with a soft, open heart and a sense of curiosity. This openness invites us to move closer to ourselves, to others, and to the challenges we face. Rather than being stuck in what we think we know, we remain flexible and responsive, ready to learn, grow, and connect.

I’ve created a short practice guide to help you bring the question “Are you sure?” into your daily life. It’s a simple yet powerful way to cultivate greater mindfulness, curiosity, and connection.

Certainty can create barriers—between ourselves and others, and between our beliefs and reality. But when we embrace not knowing, we allow ourselves to meet life as it is, with all its complexity and mystery. This openness creates space for tenderness and grace, enabling us to stay connected even when perspectives differ.

Walking hand-in-hand with doubt may lead us to deeper compassion and understanding. In doing so, we might discover that not knowing is not a weakness, but a profound act of faith and connection.

Wishing you peace and tenderness in the year ahead.

P.S. for educators: Start the New Year off right! I'm still offering a huge discount on the SEL Every Day Courses. You also have the option to earn 3-6 graduate credits.